Back where I belong...

      The movie Rounders came out in 1998. Like it did for Chris Moneymaker, it got me into the game of poker. I started out playing limit hold'em single table satellites on the internet turning $50 into $5,000 in about six months. Eventually poker became such a part of my life that I became a real life Mike McDermott quitting law school after two years to play poker full time. For the next 10+ years, I played poker, taught poker, wrote about poker, dreamt about poker, hated poker, loved poker, breathed and lived poker. I went through relationships, cars, friends, lost close ones, but the one constant I had throughout was poker. It was cliché as it sounds... there for me.

      I got into poker at the perfect time. Rounders and the hole cam coupled with Moneymaker led to a boom of unrivaled proportions. There wasn't a time of the day where you couldn't find poker on television. Anyone remember Celebrity Poker Showdown? I do. And yes... I watched it... along with pretty much any other poker that aired on television. I was never a big time winner at the tables. I never had a big losing year but I never had such a massive score that anyone would know who I was. The one thing I was able to do was articulate how to play the game, both in writing and via teaching others. I taught people to play poker for a major online poker site and made good money doing so. I would write for various publications, both print and online, and made good money doing so. Even if I had a losing year, I would have been fine because of the money I made through these endeavors.

      For three years, I was able to cover the World Series of Poker from start to finish. Where other members of the media would grow tired of the Rio and poker and be ready to run home at the end of the six week poker marathon... I wanted it to never end. I would often be one of the first ones there and the last ones to leave. I wanted to be around the poker action. I wanted to see what was going on. Poker fascinated me in multiple ways. The intellectual challenges it presented. The mental drain and physical exhaustion that came from a long day at the tables. The interactions between players, both good and bad. The drama that often existed in the poker world. It was like a microcosm of society all wrapped up in one big tournament room.

      And then there was Black Friday. I had seen the writing on the wall a few months before that fateful day hit. One of the magazines I wrote for shut down, taking a significant source of my writing income with it. The number of writing requests from other sites was also starting to decrease and the number of students I was mentoring was going down. I decided it was time to move on to other opportunities and took a job working for an internet startup game.

      Fast forward three years, still working for the startup and life is good. Great girl. Great home. Great job. But something is missing. I know what it is but I'm not sure what I can do about it. I still follow poker, and know that slowly but surely legalization of online poker is happening in a state-by-state basis. It's a slow process though and I know it's going to be a while, if ever, that we see the boom of the early to mid 2000's. It doesn't matter though – I know I need poker in my life. I reach out to some of my old contacts and see if there is any opportunities out there for me. A good friend from my days covering the WSOP says he might have something for me. At the last minute, I get a gig covering the Beau Rivage Gold Coast Poker Championship tournament series with another one lined up at the Borgata. The hours are long. The pay marginal. But that's not why I'm doing this. I'm doing this because I love poker and being here reminds me just how much I do love it.

     I love the laughter at the table when someone tells a funny story. I love the expletives in the air when someone loses to a one outer on the river. I love a glare or stare given by one player to another when their bet has been raised or the laid back "I know I have you beat" grin that comes over a player's face as they put their arms behind their head, amused at their opponent's attempts to read their soul. And despite being tired as hell from staying up until 7 am, 5 am, and 5 am on consecutive days, I love the long hours. I try and think what I hate about poker and really there's only one thing - disrespect. Disrespecting other players, dealers, tournament staff. That's it. And there's not enough of that around to make me hate the game.

     I've heard people say that poker is dead. Yes, it's not like it was after Moneymaker won the WSOP and it probably never will be but as long as there is life on this planet, poker will never be dead. As for me, I'll be a part of this game until I am. Dead that is.